


Verbascum 'Clementine'

by thicc_succ_for_a_bucc



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sophia Lives, Angst, BAMF Sophia Peletier, Blood and Gore, Canon Divergence, Character Death, Character Development, Childhood Abuse, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Friendship, Gen, Humor, M/M, Major Character Injury, Past Abuse, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Sophia Peletier Lives, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22151230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thicc_succ_for_a_bucc/pseuds/thicc_succ_for_a_bucc
Summary: Verbascums are eye-catching, drought-tolerant plants with felted, silver-grey rosettes of large leaves. Tall, furry flower-spikes emerge bearing wide-open, (usually) yellow flowers, in early to midsummer. Plants self-seed readily.Sophia blooms.///////////////Sophia wants to see the Grand Canyon, alright? So she’s not dying to some stupid dead people in the forest.
Relationships: Carl Grimes & Sophia Peletier, Glenn Rhee/Shane Walsh, Past Shane Walsh/Lori Grimes, Rick Grimes & Shane Walsh
Comments: 11
Kudos: 35





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> What inspired this mess:  
> "We’d never go without you or your mom. That’s a promise."
> 
> Alternate summary:  
> sophia is determined to get back to the group so she can fucking see the goddamn grand canon and not die as a 12 year old. that’d be nice TWD writers. y'all did this girl so DIRTY.
> 
> that is all.

“Remember when we went to the Grand Canyon?” Lori asked with a smile, turning towards Rick. 

Sophia could see they were actually happy for once. 

Driving had been stressful for them, because of having to keep everyone safe while constantly on the move. She knew that everyone in the RV was stressing about how much ammo they had, and how far it would take them. She could overhear the adults discussing it while her and Carl did their work.

Rick smiled, fond memories playing behind his eyes. 

“I don’t remember that.” Carl said, turning his body so he could see his parents better. 

Sophia thought back towards her dad. She didn’t miss him, she thought. He was mean and drank a lot and he hurt her and her mom. 

Sophia felt a little envious of Carl, what with both of his parents being happy. She knows she shouldn’t feel like that. She knows that she should be grateful she still had her mom, even when her dad was gone; but her dad wasn’t much of a dad. She thinks she’s just sad she never had that for herself. Or never remembered having it, at least.. 

“No you wouldn’t. You were just a baby.” Lori said with a small smile. “Besides, we never made it past Fort Worth.”

“No, you got sick,” Rick added on. 

“I never knew a baby who could throw up so much.” Rick laughed as he turned to look at his son, eyes crinkling. 

“Ick.” Carl snickered.

“Yeah, ick.” 

All three of them laughed.

Sophia felt like she was intruding on a family moment. She looked at her mom, but her mom was smiling with them. She knew they weren’t purposely doing anything. But she still felt out of place. Even before this all happened, when people would talk about their families she was hesitant to talk about her family in fear of what people would say. Her family was never normal.

“The doctor in Texas said you’d live. Then we turned around and drove home.” Lori was leaning towards her husband, head turned to the side so she could see her son.

“That sucks.” Carl pouted.

“No, it was a good trip.” She explained with a laugh.

“The best.” Rick agreed, grabbing his wife’s hand. 

“Can we go see it? The Grand Canyon?” Carl asked, moving his body closer. “I’d like to.” He tacked on at the end. 

“I would too.” Sophia interjected. 

She never got to do anything with her mom when her dad was alive. It was always too expensive, it was always asking too much. She was a brat, she was spoiled, she was entitled…

“Can we go?” She asked hopefully.

She meant with her and her mom and Carl and his parents. She felt safe with them. She knew Rick was not like her dad. 

“We’d never go without you or your mom. That’s a promise.” Rick and Lori turned to look at her, smiles on their faces. 

Lori gripped her hand. 

She knew Rick always kept his word. Her dad promised her things when he was really drunk. But he would always forget in the morning. He got mad at her for trying to trick him. That’s what’d he’d say. “ _My own god-damn daughter is trying to trick me in my own god-damn house_.” She would always cry when that happened. Then he’d say things like,” _You’d better run along now, before I give you something to cry about, you hear?_ ” She always did. 

She knew Rick never hit his kids or his wife. 

Sophia smiled as he laid on her mom’s shoulder. 

Rick looked into the rear-view mirror. He noticed Carol’s teary eyes, looking off into the distance. 

She composed herself and looked forward again. 

When their eyes met, Rick made sure to keep eye contact with her. He made sure to put enough emphasis that nothing would happen to Carol’s daughter or herself. He would make sure of it.


	2. Chapter 2

The RV came to a stop in front of them. 

Sophia looked up in concern. 

There were a lot of vehicles just parked on and in-between the two lanes of the highway. The car doors were open, and trash was everywhere. Some of the cars were flipped upside down, with their windows smashed. Others were practically untouched.

Sophia wondered what could have possibly happened to make all of these people abandon their cars.

Looking at all the vehicles, she was reminded of when she first met Lori, Shane and Carl. When she thought that Shane was Carl’s dad because Rick wasn’t with them, because he was still in the hospital. Waiting besides their cars outside of Atlanta when the bombs went off. Her mom crying as she held her tightly as everyone screamed in panic.

She closed her eyes tightly.

Sophia heard a motorcycle.

She moved up in the seat to see Daryl.

Daryl was coming back from seeing what was ahead of them. That’s what he did when they were on the road. That’s what he did to keep them safe. He was always like that back in the quarry, catching squirrels for them so that they could eat, but never joining them. Because even she could tell Daryl didn’t feel comfortable with the rest of them then. He was alone, even with his mean brother.

The group was including him more now, because they depended a lot more on everyone now that they’re group had gotten smaller. Sophia missed everyone they had lost, to new groups or because they died. She felt bad for Daryl and Andrea, missing their siblings. 

This world was getting crazier and crazier as things got worse and worse for everyone.

The RV was now moving slowly through the maze of vehicles.

Rick followed at the same sluggish pace.

Looking closer Sophia could see dead bodies littering the cars. She couldn’t tell if they were walkers or people who had just died there. But she was wary regardless.

Even at the end of the world when dead people walked and ate others, seeing an unanimated body was just as alarming as seeing an animated body. She didn’t think she would ever grow used to seeing that.

The RV stopped again. 

There was a whistling noise coming from it, and it didn’t sound good to Sophia. 

Rick stopped the car, then turned the transmission off. 

They all got out of their vehicles.

“I said it. Didn’t I say it? A thousand times. Dead in the water,” Dale grouched to the group at large, circled around him. 

“Problem, Dale?” Shane asked with attitude, walking around the RV with his rifle at attention, almost like he was doing drills.

Daryl walked towards the vehicles.

“Oh just a small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of--,” Dale stopped as Daryl reached into the back of a vehicle to grab something.

“Okay, that was dumb.” Dale admitted. 

“If you can’t find a radiator hose here…”, Shane trailed off. 

“There’s a whole bunch of stuff we can find.” Daryl cut in.

“I can siphon more fuel from these cars for a start.” T-Dog offered. 

“Maybe some water.” Carol asked, hopeful.

“Or food.” Glenn added. 

“This is a graveyard.” Lori said, crossing her arms in a purposeful manner.

That cut all conversation as everyone turned their heads to look at Lori with similar expressions. Silence rang through the group.

“I don’t know how I feel about this.” Lori continued.

Seemingly as if in agreement to ignore her, the group looked away.

Daryl continued to rifle through the back.

“All right, all right, here go.” T-Dog said to himself, almost as a chant. 

“C’mon, y’all. Just look around, gather what you can.” He continued, this time in address to everyone.

Everyone went on to seemingly starting to do their own thing.

* * *

Sophia and her mother moved towards the back of a truck that looked promising. They started going through boxes and bags that were left there, in the hopes of cans or water or something. Sophia would even be happy with some playing cards, because at least there would be something for her and Carl to do after they were finished with their lessons each day. 

Lori and Carl come to join them.

They finish and continue on, not finding much besides one can of beans and a blanket.

Lori leans to look in a car and sees a dead man with flies buzzing around his head.

Carol did the same.

“Kids, don’t look.” She looked back to make sure they heard and continued on.

Sophia couldn’t help but see the man, but she quickly looked away. 

She didn’t want her mom mad at her. Sophia’s mom didn’t get mad at her often, but when she did it was more so for her protection then any real anger. Her dad wasn’t like that. Her dad didn’t care one way or the other if she got hurt, because he never kept an eye on her; if she had enough to eat, for which he always thought only of himself, never thinking of her or her mom. But she would never see her father again, so she quickly cast that thought out. She didn’t care, she reminded herself.

Glenn walked up to Dale, watching him putter with the engine of the RV. 

“Which one?” He asked, closing one eye due to the heat emanating from the transmission.

“Flathead. Radiator hose clamp is always a flathead. Here, you do it.” He handed the screw driver to Glenn, exchanging the other screwdriver in his hand for the flat head and the bandana. “Learn something.”

Glenn coughed upwards at the fumes as Dale left him to it.

Andrea followed a trail of clothes across the road, which consisted of a tiny pink backpack and a bottle filled with probably week old milk. She sighed at the disturbing scene, looking around in disbelief that this was her life now. But this wasn’t even the worst that she had seen today, even, so she called herself lucky.

Dale walked up to Rick, who was keeping watch. He silently asked for the binoculars, pointing towards the top of the RV. Rick gave in with no complaints, walking off. He still had his gun’s sight.

T-Dog walked towards the bulk of the cars with two jerry cans, Daryl on his heels to help. Daryl flicked the fuel tank open for T-Dog, who placed the hose and started to siphon the gas; he coughed as he placed the hose into the jerry can, letting gravity do its thing. 

Finished helping T-Dog, Daryl passed Carol and Lori who were having a conversation about...clothes? He didn’t know or care, just nodded to Carol at least. He didn’t like Lori much. She wasn’t a bad woman, just Daryl had never fared well with her type: uptight, morally righteous house-wife, who thought she knew what was right. Like today. None of this was right. Didn’t mean they had to starve.

* * *

“Ed never let me wear nice things like this.” Carol said in sheepish explanation when she caught Lori looking at her, responding to her statement with an unreadable expression. 

“We’re gonna need clothes.” She walked off, in thought. 

Lori followed, touching her back in support and comfort.

She walked so she could see her son.

“Hey Carl. Always within my sight, okay?” Lori called, pointing at her eyes. 

Carl nodded. 

“You too, Sophia.” 

Sophia nooded jerkily, looking off.

She didn’t like the attention drawn to her when her name was called. 

She looked around, wanting to help but not wanting to be too far from where people could see her. She remembered what happened to her dad, being all alone and unprotected and being eaten. She would take his experience as a lesson. Be near people when you could be eaten at any time.

* * *

Andrea passed Rick on her way to the RV, not looking at once another other than a cursory glance.

Rick walked towards Dale, glancing past what he would see in the distance.

“It’s all good.” Dale announced to Rick, understanding his worry.

In the RV, Andrea sat down with a sigh. She took a second, mumbling, “Okay,” under her breath as she took to the task of trying to learn her gun. “All right.”

Shane and Glenn were near a van, working and standing respectively; Glenn huffing due to the heat as he struggled with the engine and Shane was contemplating the Spring Water truck in front of them. He thought it didn’t hurt to try. He walked towards it, resting his gun against the truck. He walked around the side and pried open the back of the truck, and inside it was fully stocked with filled water bottle jugs. His mouth opened up in a grin.

“Glenn. Were we short on water?” Shane called, turning to Glenn with a smug look. He opened a cap from the top to drink from, heavily pouring down on him like a waterfall. It was probably even better than getting your rocks off.

Glenn’s mouth dropped in surprise.

He laughed in at Shane’s find.

“It’s like being baptized, man.” Shane went for seconds.

“Hey, save me some!” He protested, already throwing his screw-driver to the side, chasing after Shane with a joyous snort.

Dale turned from watching Shane and Glenn’s antics, shaking his head with a smile as he looked forward again to keep watch. 

But he noticed something, taking a step forward.

He took a few seconds to clear his vision, looking again to make sure what he was seeing was correct. 

Noticing Dale’s movement, Rick checked his sight.

He saw a walker, so he clicked his rifle in preparation to take a shot. But saw another walker a few seconds later.

He looked again, noticing more movement. 

“Oh christ.”

He scrambled to warn the others.

80, 90, maybe even a hundred walkers appeared in the distance shambling towards them; their bodies degraded to the point that you weren’t even sure how they were still able to move, but never curious enough to get close enough to find out.

Dale laid flat on the roof at the incoming herd’s arrival, hiding behind the rooftop cargo carrier with a muttered, “Fuck.”

* * *

“Lori!”

Sophia turned around, noticing Rick’s frantic face and hearing his harsh breathing. 

“Lori! Under the cars. Carl, Sophia, get down now.” He harshly whispered, looking behind him as if something were coming.

Seeing Rick scared was a shock to Sophia, because he took care of scary things, he wasn’t scared of them. So Sophia knew this must be really bad.

Carl and Sophia immediately ran for the nearest vehicle next to them, which was a tan delivery truck.

Noticing something was up and seeing the walkers Shane grabbed Glenn, pulling him and pushing him towards the bottom of the truck.

“Ow,” he objected, rolling over anyways as Shane was pushing his body even further under the truck so they both could fit. “What?” He whispered in confusion, looking around but not seeing anything out of the ordinary, besides Shane’s hand gripping his shirt that was.

Shane shushed his efforts, gripping his shot gun in the other hand and pulling it closer to his side.

That’s when Glenn heard it: the unmistakable sounds of a walker. But what really got his heart rate going was the fact that it sounded like hundreds of them. He saw feet go past them and placed his head on the road.  
This really wasn’t their day, huh?

* * *

Andrea was still trying to clean her gun, sounds of frustration slipping from her mouth when the dang clip just wouldn’t slide _through_ when she noticed the herd of walkers out the window.

“Oh god!” She threw herself to the floor so she wouldn’t be seen, gripping the upholstery of the seat in a vice-like grip.

T-Dog was crouching in front of a car, standing up to see how far away the walkers were from him. He couldn’t see many from his vantage point yet, but he knew they were coming. He zig-zagged between the cars, trying to find at least a little protection but wasn’t having much luck, stopping beside a white sedan that had it’s door open. He hid behind it, it being better than nothing, looking over it when a walker spotted him. In a fit of panic he dipped as fast as he could, in the process slitting his forearm on the rusty and jagged car door, artery spurting all over his body and shirt until he looked like a haunted house extra that’s only job was to be bloody and scream.

He looked up to the sky, almost asking ‘Why him?’

Sophia looked across towards her mother, and it looked like her mother was about to sob but Lori covered her mouth before she could do so. Seeing her mother’s scared face made her afraid, but she was glad Lori was with her.

Her mother was strong, with all the things she’s dealt with before this, but even the strongest person would be afraid in this situation.

She heard banging against the truck, and saw feet walking past her. 

She began to tear up in the corners of her eyes, putting a hand over her own mouth so she wouldn’t make a sound, just as she saw Lori do.

Rick was on the other side of her and Carl, telling them to be quiet and to stay put, which helped some. At least people could see them.

* * *

A walker entered the RV.

Andrea quickly grabbed the cloth she placed the gun components on, carrying it in one hand as she hurried to get in the bathroom compartment, almost crab walking in her haste to get to the only place that could be conceivably closed: the bathroom compartment. It wasn’t even a compartment, it was just two sliding pieces of board. She slid the cover closed.

So she was officially fucked.

She mumbled quietly as she tried to get the gun together. 

She could hear the walker walking through the RV, stopping her movements when she could hear it directly in front of her. 

She continued when she no longer heard it, hands shaking in her urgency to get it right. Trying to remember what Shane told her about the piece. 

She gasps as the piece clangs, dropping to the floor and echoing all throughout the RV. She cringed.

“Shit.” 

She sticks her feet against the door, hoping against all hope that this fucking walker will turn around and leave her the hell alone.

The walker clicks it’s jaw, growling and Andrea can smell it’s disgusting rot through the sliding door. 

The walker suddenly slams against the door, making her yell in fright and panic as it’s fingers and mouth appear with it’s effort to get at her, mouth snapping every time it gets through. 

Andrea sees Dale on top of the RV through the screen, looking at him for help.

He scrambles for anything he can see, but then remembers his earlier interaction with Glenn as he grabs the screwdriver in his pocket. Sometimes delegating work really was the smart choice. He would take that to heart after this was over and done with.

Dale uses the screwdriver to cut through the screen, dropping it into her waiting hands. Andrea grips it like a lifeline, already thinking how to get herself out of this situation now that she has a fighting chance.

The walker sets his eyes on T-Dog as he can do nothing but watch it advance, saying goodbye to any remaining family he had left when Daryl appeared.stabbing it through the back of the skull. 

T-Dog looks on in shock as Daryl dropped it to the ground, dragging it towards him.

Andrea is crying as she pulls open the curtain, stabbing the walker in its eye and throwing it to the ground, where she stabs it again and again and again until it stops moving.

She’s covered in walker blood as she wrenches the screwdriver from the walker’s skull, adrenaline going haywire as she sobs to herself.

T-Dog is looking up from the walker that has been placed on him by Daryl as Daryl pulls a dead walker for himself, laying near enough to him so he can easily see him making the universal gesture for ‘shut the fuck up or they’ll hear us, numb-nuts’.

When the herd finally passes what feels like forty minutes later, but in actuality is probably five or six minutes, T-Dog is being pulled by the shirtsleeve up by a man whose brother was the most racist man T-Dog had ever met. Even before the apocalypse.

T-Dog is wondering what he ever did in his past life to piss off the universe this much. He probably drowned a bag of kittens or something.

* * *

Sophia slides over underneath the truck. After a cursory glance and not seeing anything, she slides out. And screams as a walker reaches for her, making her fall back and as it growls and gnashes its teeth together, moving it’s body as it chases her under the van. 

She slides under the highway fencing sector, screaming as another and another walker chases her until she has no choice but to run down the hill into the forest to get away from them.

Rick makes his way from underneath the vehicle, sprinting to follow them. He rolls down the hill when he reaches the incline, hitting his back on tree branches and rocks. He grunts.

Carol is out from under the car in seconds, panting in exertion after her daughter.

“Lori, there are two walkers after my baby!” She yells, distraught.

Lori has been the only other woman Carol was ever able to become close with, before and after the apocalypse. Jacqui is dead now, but at least she went out because of her own choice. 

Lori shushes her, holding her close, stopping her from going any further and from getting lost as well. Lori is not losing any more friends if she can help it.

Rick now has a scared and wheezing Sophia in his sights, two walkers gaining on her. And she’s slowing down due to exhaustion, not used to running at such a high speed for as long of a time as this.

Rick runs through the trees, urging his body to go faster.

Sophia staggers as she turns around a tree, falling but catching herself on her hands, continuing running without looking until she runs directly into a body, panicking until hands stop her.

She tries to get away but stops when they shush her, finally seeing that it’s Rick. She looks behind her frantically.

“Are you alright?” Rick asks, out of breath. He shakes his head back and forth looking for any scratches or god forbid, bites.

“No! Shoot them!” She cries, reaching for his gun when he doesn’t immediately listen to her.

“No. No! Those walkers on the road would hear it.” He explains. “Then there wouldn’t be just two of them, there would be hundreds”.

He looks behind her. “Come here, come on,” he urges, picking her up bridal-style and running.

He was now significantly weighted down by a scared 12 year old who looked like she could drop any minute due to exhaustion. Rick wasn’t faring any better in that department either, honestly. Rick still wasn’t as strong as he used to be yet. He was better, but only sufficient weight gain and rest could ever really improve things, knowing he wouldn’t be that lucky in this environment. Not until a miracle.

They stop next to a creak and Rick places Sophia down. 

“Okay, all right, hold on. You stay there. Wait.” He jumps down before her, breathing in a quick moment of respite, knowing they’ll be moving in a second. 

“Come on.” He makes a hurried motion with his arms for Sophia to drop down into his arms, and they continue down the creak until Rick sees a place to hide her that could at least give her a chance.

He spots a black crevasse, dropping her down into it. 

He grips her shoulders, looking into her eyes so she understands.

“Sophia, you have to do exactly as I say. Hide in there. Squeeze in tight. I’ll draw them away from you.”

“No you can’t leave me. I’ll die out here!” She beseeched.

“Listen listen listen listen. They don’t get winded. I do. I can only deal with them one at a time. I wouldn’t be able to protect you.”

She continued shaking her head, repeating, “I’ll die, I’ll die, I’ll die.”

“Sophia! You won’t die! This is how we both survive. You understand?” He pleaded with her, willing her to understand that this was the only way. Rick felt sick with himself and his actions, but it truly was the the only option.

She looked at him, taking in his sincerity and trusting him. Sophia hesitantly nods, breathing shakily.

“Okay? Go go go go.” He ushers her, backing up to keep the walkers heading for them in sight for when they appeared.

“If I don’t make it back, run back to the highway, back to the others, straight where we came. Keep the sun on your left shoulder.” He demonstrated with his arm which side was left, turning so she could see from in front of her, not knowing if she understood her left from her right.

He kept backing up, seeing the walkers now. The first didn’t so much as walk into the water but dropped into the water, limbs slow to react bringing it down.

“Come on!” Rick urges.

He splashes, trying to egg them on. “You ugly son of a bitch. Come on!” 

The second one made its appearance, jaws snapping in rapid succession with the only drive to rip him apart. Rick hoped it bites its tongue off. 

Rick takes a second to glance at Sophia to make sure she’s hidden before taking off deeper into the forest, both walkers in pursuit. 

Rick sees a stone and picks it up, seeing a tree in the middle of an open area. He heads around the tree, back pressed against the bark to wait. Sure enough the walker breaks the clearing and Rick hefts the rock, charging for the walker and smacking the stone against its skull, bringing it down. Rick brings the stone, five, six times until its head is smashed in. Rick gives the second walker the same special treatment with relish, wiping walker blood from his face.

He moves back to where he left Sophia. 

She’s gone. 

He loses his mind a little.

* * *

Sophia waits for Rick to come back in the alcove. 

There’s nothing around her but sticks and grass, and she’s all alone in the creek. She’s not cold in the water, because it’s a warm day and the water is heated because of the sun’s rays, but Sophia’s socks and shoes in the water are rubbing uncomfortably against her feet.

The creek stinks pretty badly. Maybe the walkers brought the smell with them, maybe not, but Sophia puts a hand over her mouth so she doesn’t gag. She doesn’t want to draw attention to herself, not knowing what’s in this forest.

She wonders if she could have done literally anything to not be in these woods right now. Maybe she could have waited for the adults to see if it was safe first. Maybe she could have picked a different vehicle. But the reality is she’s here now. No one has the power to know the correct decision when they make it. 

Deciding it’s been a long enough time to wait for an adult, who for all she knew would never come back, Sophia heads back for the highway with the sun on her left shoulder. Like Rick said.

She walks, because she knows running will only make her tired and she won’t get very far that way. It’s better to conserve what little energy she has left, she figures. 

It’s when she’s trekking near a tight-knit group of trees when she hears twigs snapping behind her. 

She turns in shock as a walker grabs for her, jaws wide as it leans in. 

She shrieks and hurls herself out of the way, falling on her hands. She gets up and continues running and running, and she realizes she doesn’t see the sun anymore. 

She stops, looking around frantically. 

She falls to her knees and starts sobbing, realizing she’s never been this lonely and scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment what you thought and thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're gonna go with the assumption that shane didn't try to rape lori at the cdc because like what the fuck writers? we already had enough proof shane was gonna be a dickhead. we didn't need him committing attempted sexual assault to get the point across. i think the other shit he did in canon was proof enough.
> 
> a respectful 'bruh', your honour
> 
> [in my fic shane is not going to turn into a rabid dog that needs to be put down thank you]
> 
> i also have a spotify playlist for this: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7rYhHpDq61dMvL3V9a2kVJ?si=z-4GZm9wQvuXyv-5ahAFHw

“Sure this is the spot?” Daryl asks, leaning into the Alcove, looking for any clues that Sophia had even been there in the first place.

“I left her right here.” Rick says, motioning with his hands. “I drew the walkers way off in that direction up the creek.”

“Without a paddle--seems where we’ve landed.” Daryl said with a dry tone, walking with Rick back to the others up the creek. 

“She was gone by the time I got back here. I figured she just took off and ran back to the group. I told her to go that way and keep the sun on her left shoulder.” Rick repeated, not wanting the group to think that he sent a little girl off to her death. He already felt shitty enough. He didn’t need the group to dogpile on his capabilities too. He already knew he fucked up.

“Hey, Short Round, why don’t you step off to one side? You’re mucking up the trail.” Daryl barked at Glenn.

“Assuming she knows her left from her right.” Shane said, tone in his voice implying he thought Rick had done something stupid.

“Shane, she understood me fine. Even if she didn’t, I showed her the way.” Rick defended, sick of Shane’s attitude right about now. They were all trying their best here.

“Kid’s tired and scared, man. She had a close call with two walkers. Got to wonder how much of what you said stuck.” Shane countered, looking closely at Rick and the tiredness in his eyes.

When Shane had first seen Rick walk up into camp, he felt like he was suckerpunched in the jaw. His partner was here. But then the reality had sunk in. His _partner_ was here. The man who he thought was dead. The man he had _abandoned_. The man whose _wife_ he’d been sleeping with.

He knew how much Rick cared about kids. No matter what mistakes Shane’s made, he would always understand his partner. 

So he should be making up for his shitty decisions, not kicking a man while he was already down. But it was difficult. Seeing Rick brought back memories of the before, Rick still being the same man who he had left lying in that stupid hospital bed, virtually unchanged; Shane knew he, himself, was irrevocably changed by what he had seen and done. No fixing that with any TLC.

Shane opened his mouth to apologize for everything, but Daryl interrupted him. 

“Got clear prints right here. She did like you said, headed back to the highway. Let’s spread out, make our way back.” Daryl said, heading closer to Shane’s outstretched hand and pulling himself up with a grunt.

Shane turned to Rick, gazing at him. But the moment was gone and they had more important things to do.

“She couldn’t have gone far.” Shane softly murmured, pulling Rick up. “Hey, we're gonna find her. She’ll be tuckered out hiding in a bush somewhere”. He tried to smile at Rick. Rick tentatively smiled back.

It wasn’t much. But it was a start.

They walked off.

* * *

Sophia was not, in fact, tuckered out in a bush somewhere. 

She was kneeling on the ground, face cold from where the tear tracts still lay on her face. She did not hear anything, but that meant nothing in this new world. Anyone or anything could be near her at any given moment, hiding in the shadows. Waiting for when she was most vulnerable. Times such as now. 

She had seen the aftermath of children abandoned in the outbreak. Bloody car seats, abandoned picture frames. People trying to hoard physical memories because the real thing was dead and gone. She could see the future of what that would do to her mother. 

She decided she would not be a victim. This world would not take one look at her and spit her back out.

So she picked herself up. 

She looked around at her surroundings, taking everything in like she saw Rick do. She didn’t know if that was from his past as the Sheriff or just who he was. Observant. She was gonna have to be like that if she wanted to get back to them. If she wanted to survive.

It was dusk and Sophia knew she needed to get somewhere where she could hole up for the night, get her bearings. She would not be safe in the pitch of night where there were no walls, no food, no water. She didn’t even have a weapon.

The group had not taught her anything, nor Carl for that matter. They didn’t expect a child to look after themselves, not seeing them as mature enough. But this world was all about how to survive on your own if you had to. And she decided right then and there, adults were stupid. The adults were too busy worrying about stupid things like moral purity than caring if they’re kids could survive. And their stupidity was going to get her killed if she let it.

If she survived this (and she promised herself she would, but promises are a load of horse manure- shit. Load of horse shit. She was twelve and she was going to say shit.) She was gonna’ hoard knives. There wouldn’t be a pocket that didn’t have a sharp edge somewhere on her person. 

She walked in the direction opposite to where she was facing, knowing she got a little off course. ‘No shit’. She rolled her eyes at her own thoughts.

Walking alone made her think back to her group.

First Sophia thought of her mother. She missed her very much. She missed her hugs. She missed when her mother used to sing her quiet songs late at night, back in the quarry when her father was already long gone from whiskey. They would be soft and sad, but not without a bit of hope for better days. When they first got to the quarry they would always send her to sleep with more or less happy dreams, not letting herself think of anything other than her mom’s scrappy light voice; she was not the best of singers, but her voice was everything to Sophia. 

The quarry itself was a bittersweet memory. At times it was peaceful and nice, spending time near the lake and having good close friends for the first time in her life, playing and doing their schoolwork. But there were also many different strains of tension, having so many different personalities in the same vicinity. 

You had Meryl and Daryl who didn’t much like the group at large, wanting to keep to themselves, Daryl more so than Merle, who at times could be mean and overbearing when he felt like acknowledging the group at large. 

You had the Shane, Lori and Rick drama: everyone knew it. Lori and Shane weren’t as subtle as they liked to think they were, and Sophia overheard the adults gossip about it. So when the shock wore off that Lori’s husband was not in fact dead, then the pieces were starting to fall. Toes were stepped on, conversations were awkward. 

She wondered if her own disappearance made them forget their stupid squabbles and focus on someone else for a change. Sophia wasn’t counting her breath on that, considering adults, if they were not focusing on “the greater picture”, were often focusing on themselves. 

Walking further had her coming across a camp, of sorts. Of sorts, because any resemblance to a normal campsite you would find in the woods was ruined by the sighting of a corpse that lay in the middle of the camp. It was clothed in plaid and jeans, but the clothes and by extension the torso was a bloody mess of bite marks and punctures that she could hardly tell if the middle even had a stopping point or if the wounds led deeper than that. Maybe into hell, if you believed in that sort of thing. The sight and implication of her thoughts mader her queasy.

Sophia didn’t think much of Gods or Heaven or Hell, to be honest, these days. She thought more of life, life after death, 

Taking a deep breath, Sophia moved closer. Yes this was absolutely nasty, the staunch smell of death reverberating around the camp like a halo. But it was a camp. Had to start foraging for supplies somewhere, and this sketchy area in the middle of the woods was as great a place as any.

She noticed the fire was still lit. Did this mean the camp was freshly ravaged and she was picking at its bones? She didn’t know, but the reality of the camp didn’t matter in the long scheme of things of her survival; hopefully that meant there was a fire starting kit, or something she could take for herself. 

Survival meant taking things, not leaving them for the hypothetical person who comes across it. That wasn’t sustainable.

A further perusal of the camp led to a tent partly hidden by branches and nature. 

Inside the tent were two backpacks, both close to the entrance. On the floor lay a sleeping bag, covered in blood. The smell was palpable. She held in her vomit.

She grabbed one of the packs. Its contents were 5 mini bottles of vodka, three books, a pocket knife, rope, a three-quarters-filled water bottle, and about five cans for what appeared to be ravioli. 

Opening the pocketknife, she decided it was a pitiful thing. It had a blade that was the size of her index finger, thin and vulnerable; it would hardly leave a scratch, never mind break. She realized it wasn’t just a pocket knife, but that of a survival swiss army knife. But the rest of its contents were infinitely better as a tool than as a weapon, so she put it in her back pocket for later. 

She checked the other pack, in it was a scrapbook. She would not be going through this. She would not be stealing someone else’s memories. She put it gently aside. At the bottom of the bag were rings, and a baby’s blanket. This was the vestigial remnants of his family. 

This person was by himself. He was facing the apocalypse alone, and he died alone. 

And here she was, virtually looking this dead man in the face and robbing him blind.

She was so _tired_ all of a sudden, like a bone deep weariness seeped into her bones when she wasn’t looking. 

She felt like a stranger was keeping residence inside her, making her make decisions she could not reconcile with herself. Was she a stranger now? Would the group even recognize her, after all was said and done?

The reality of the situation was not lost on her. This man’s last possessions for her continued survival. But it didn’t make her feel better about any of it, that this man died because the earth now belonged to the dead; humans were just living on borrowed time. Time that was going to be met with ravenous hunger, starvation and death, in whichever order came first.

She needed to rest. Maybe she would feel better in the morning.

She didn’t like the concept of sleeping in the tent. It was 5 metres from a dead man, and open to elements to boot.

She looked around, only finding trees. It was better than nothing right? At least she wasn’t on the ground.

Sophia was no stranger to climbing trees.

In the past, she hated school. She hated how kids would make fun of her because of her dad, because of her hair and freckles, and because of her shyness. 

She had no friends. So at recess, she would climb trees. No one bothered her when she was in her favourite tree.

And unlike school, she cherished her time in Girl Scouts.

She made friends with girls her own age. She learned so many useful skills, like first aid and how to speak to people. She learned how to camp, and how to walk in the woods, and how to cook. How to use tools. All sorts of useful things. 

She missed it very much. But it didn’t last long. No good things do.

Her dad made her mom take her out of scouts. Her mom of course tried to talk him out of it. But one afternoon she was taken aside by her dad and that was the end of it.

He said it was making them poor. That it was a waste of time and they could teach her that stuff themselves. But her dad never tried, and her mom was never in girl scouts to know how.

And while “Girl scouts was making them poor,” _he_ never stopped using their funds to buy beer and cigarettes. 

Sophia wondered if her father wasn’t such a giant piece of shit, Sophia could have actually had a nice childhood. But she never got to experience one, because of him.

She picked a tree that had good purchase and that was higher up, not wanting to even chance a walker being able to reach her. 

She took the pack and opened it, dropping the pocketknife back in. Seeing nothing else of value, she zipped it and suited up; securing it on her shoulder.

She started to climb. When she reached a thick enough branch she felt comfortable enough to sit on, she did so.

Taking off the pack, she grabbed the rope. She put the pack on so it wouldn’t fall, and untangled the rope, testing its size. It was about the length of two adult people.

She was so _lucky_.

She took off the pack, and placed it against the branch she was sitting on, near her feet. She wrapped the rope around it and the branch, and made sure to tie it tight. Now it wouldn’t fall off while she slept.

She repeated the process with herself. Now _she_ wouldn’t fall off the branch while she slept. She smiled.

She heard twigs snapping from below. The smile dropped.

Looking down, a walker was directly below her, shambling through the camp. It’s clothes were falling off its frame, bloody and threadbare. It was a child, and Sophia could swear it was about the same age as her because it was the same height as her. 

She observed it from the relative safety of the tree, holding her breath. It was slow, and dumb, and not looking at her. It wouldn’t get her. She wouldn’t become that.

She was safe. She went with her gut decision, and it saved her life. 

Maybe she _would_ survive.

* * *

Carol worried at her lip, feeling it crack and split.

It was getting darker, and Sophia was still not back.

Sophia was all alone out there, and they made her stay back. That was her _daughter_. She wanted to be out there with the men, finding any clue possible where her daughter was. But someone had to be here for her, if she came back. That’s what they said. ‘ _If she came back_ ’.

“Carol, c’mon. Let’s sit down,” Lori murmured in her ear, pulling her. “It’s getting late, and you’ve been standing for a while.” Carol goes.

Lori gripped her arm, as if expecting her to vault the fence and chase after the group.

She promised she’d stay here, and she would. She wasn’t Ed.

Lori herded them to the back of a truck, where blankets were laid out. She was meant to rest here? While other people were out, helping and being useful? Her daughter was missing. She, herself, was not an invalid. 

But she said nothing. Living with Ed taught her that it was better to observe than to say anything outright. Nothing she said was useful or valued, anyways.

She loved Ed once. When they first met he had been charming, and, believe it or not...suave. He swept her off her feet. They dated for a while, and then they got married when Carol had found out she was having little Sophia. And he honest to god had been happy with the news.

But good things don’t last forever. Two years after Sophia was born, Ed was laid off. They couldn’t afford to pay him anymore, because the company was going under. Then Ed turned to alcohol to cope. 

He got downright _mean_. He got _cruel_. He got _violent_.

And the rest was history.

Carol never would have thought this kind of thing would happen. That the end of the world would happen. 

And she never would have imagined the end of the world would be her saving grace. Ed was gone. She would never have to hear another drunken slur, or would never have to deal with a shove here or a swipe here. Not a hit or a slap again. And late at night, he would never _touch_ her again.

He wouldn’t look at poor Sophia like she was a burden on their wallet. Hell, the burden on their wallet was _him_.

But she never talked about any of this. She wanted to keep a low radar. Voicing these thoughts, no matter how many people of the previous camp thought it, wouldn’t be good. They would look at her with even more pity than they do now. 

And now she was to sit here and wait, while anything could happen to her little girl and she could do nothing about it. 

This new world freed her. It was an insane thought, she knew that. But in her mind it was no less true. And now that she thought that, it was trying to take away the one whom she loved the most. Was it karma? For thinking these thoughts?

Lori came back with Rick in tow. Carol couldn’t see any others behind him, so Sophia couldn’t possibly be with them. 

She asked anyway.

Rick slowly shook his head, shamed. 

“I’m so sorry Carol.”

Even though she knew Sophia wouldn’t be found right this minute, it still hurt greatly. She still sobbed, and Rick still wrapped his arms around her in a comforting squeeze, his wife onlooking with a grim gaze; whether it was about Sophia being gone or Rick’s arms around another woman, she didn’t know.

Carol knew Lori and Rick were having problems. When you slept with another man while your husband was who god knows where, in the apocalypse no less, people talked. There was nothing much else to do _but_ gossip, these days. It was familiar. No one voiced their judgements directly, of course, but it was obvious in people’s eyes and demeanor. Carol was very familiar with the judgement of strangers, with a husband like Ed.

So when Rick came back, and Lori looked _very_ guilty, and started treating Shane like shit, it was not hard to put two and two together. It always equaled four, after all. 

Carol didn’t actually blame Shane and Lori. They were doing the best they could, and they thought Rick had died. They were using each other to cope, because each held some piece of Rick in their hearts. 

When Rick came back, though, Carol did blame Lori. Treating Shane worse than trash wouldn’t change the fact that you slept with him. It would just make it worse, and make Lori seem and look irrational. But that begs the question: is Lori irrational? All answers seem to point to yes. But she digresses. Not her business. 

She had other, more important things to worry about. Like her daughter’s whereabouts. 

And if Lori was mad that Rick was comforting her, well that was just too bad, wasn’t it? Turnabout is fair play, after all.

* * *

T-Dog was slumped against a car, holding his injured arm away from himself. He felt weak, off-center, and sun-sick. He was next to delirious. 

Dale was puttering around in a car 10 metres away, looking for any sort of med kit or alcohol to clean the wound. Or _anything_ at this point. T-Dog was seriously not right, and he could die.

In this new world, getting an infection or getting sick was like basically signing a death warrant. There were no hospitals, and supplies were hard to come by. Who knows when the next time they would come across anyone who could help.

“Hey Dale.” He turned. 

T-dog was holding a bag of prescription drugs, the pills clanking against each other with the effort T-dog was using to display them with one arm. 

Dale hurried over, taking the bag. 

“Where’d you find these?” He asked in amazement. It was quite a _large_ bag of drugs. 

“The car I was leaning against. Must of been a sales rep. Either that or I picked up a drug dealer’s supply. With the state of things I don’t think they’ll miss them too much.” T-dog chuckled, it turning into a cough. 

He was gaining a fever. He was getting worse. 

“Let’s see if there’s some aspirin in here. I don’t know how high it is, but you’re getting a fever. That’s not great.” Dale knew this was an understatement, but if you’re an old white man, sometimes understatements are all you have to give.

He found some, opening it and handing T-dog two tablets. Good thing they found some water earlier, so Dale could hand him some water too. 

“I bet you if Merle was here, that redneck could probably give me a cocktail to both knock me out and cure me in one go.” T-dog joked.

The reality of Merle’s drug use was not lost on them. A man did not act cracked out, and you didn’t suspect him of taking said crack. 

Dale heartily agreed with T-dog’s assessment. If there were no doctors around, the next best thing besides vets and any medical personal, were crackheads and rednecks. And if you were both? Well, the apocalypse was either made for you, or you’d die pretty quickly. 

Considering Daryl and Merle survived the apocalypse this long, the ladder was probably more true.

What happened to Merle, no matter how much of a dick he was, was quite unfortunate. No one deserved to be handcuffed to a roof on an exceptionally hot day. And if he managed to survive the experience, good for him. But oh boy. That was gonna bite them in the ass, you mark his words.

* * *

Sophia wasn’t back yet, and Carl was worried. 

One second his friend was basically right next to him, and the next she was running away from like four walkers into the woods. And now they couldn’t find her. 

How did things get so crazy so fast?

When his dad was in the hospital after getting _shot_ , Carl thought. _’That’s it. Life can’t get any crazier than this, right?’._ He was so very wrong.

Then the apocalypse happened. People started eating each other. 

And his dad was left in the hospital, because they thought he died. 

Now he was here, alive, after he was left dead in a hospital for who knows how long it’s been.

Life was getting insane. 

Now Carol was being hugged by his dad while she sobbed, and his mom was staring weirdly at the scene. 

Oh Carl wasn’t unaware of his mom’s activities. In the camp his mom would hover over him all day, and then for thirty minutes his mom and Shane would magically be missing at the same time. They weren’t very subtle.

And now his mom was being weird with Shane. Like she was yelling at him for everything under the sun, like he was personally the reason their lives were so shit at the moment. Carl was aware she was embarrassed and guilty, but that was no reason to take it out on the man who saved our lives, and the woman who just had her daughter go missing.

If Carol needed a hug, she needed a hug. Lori and Shane had done way worse, after all, huh?

Carl just hoped that Sophia would come back soon. For all their sakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment what you think and thanks for reading!


End file.
